I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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