Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
