After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
