New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
