I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
