Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
