Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
