went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
