So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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