I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
