help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
