he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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