the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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