I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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