On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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