HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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