Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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