remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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