Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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