Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
