its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
