My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
