So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
