ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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