Me too!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
