WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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