filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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