Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
