It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just forgot I was standing up.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
