you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
