You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
