There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
