rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
