He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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