Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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