All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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