dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
