so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
