dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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