Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
