You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
