It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
