Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Everything about him screamed your future.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
