I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize