I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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