I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
