You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
