First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
