and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
birth control should be required to get into college
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
