Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
