omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
