I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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