Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
