Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
