I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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