we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
