i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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