I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
